RAK and the School Nutrition Program

Today's theme is simply Random Acts of Kindness. For some, that means buying an extra coffee or a bunch of flowers, holding a door, or sharing a hug. For those who are looking for a fresh idea, Kristin Allen, inspired by this article, reached out to Peter Esposito to see if past due lunch balances were an issue in Scarborough. 

Here's what he had to say:

As an outsider, Scarborough seems to be a town with many resources, booming business, and a wide tax base. The schools are high performing, and they have great sports teams, arts, and many extracurricular programs. When I came on board, we already had a program in place where we would send home food for some long weekends and all vacations. I was shocked at the need in the district, but also humbled by the generosity of our citizens. With the help of those citizens and groups, we have expanded our Backpack Program to include more items such as fresh meats, cheeses, produce, and other nutritious options. 

In our School Nutrition Program, and many across the nation, students that qualify for reduced meals or free meals may not always have the .40 cents that it costs for the reduced meal. Our policy is that we would never take a meal away from a child for nonpayment, and we would never single a child out for owing money. We believe that our program is very important to our whole student body because, as we all know, a hungry child cannot learn. But all of this, unfortunately, comes at a cost to our program, with current estimates of over three thousand dollars owed. As a group we will continue to chip away at this, and we will continue to help children and families in any way we can.

Peter Esposito

School Nutrition Director 

Scarborough School Department

So, for those of you who are looking for a RAK today, please join us in helping our neighbors bring some of those accounts back up into the black. This will likely be an ongoing need, so keep an eye out for additional requests. Checks can be made out to Scarborough School Nutrition Program - write "lunch account donation" in the memo field. Checks can be mailed to:

Nutrition Program Office

Wentworth School

PO Box 370

Scarborough, ME 04074

Appreciation from Wentworth

I thought it would be meaningful to pair Mr. Sloatman's appreciation card assignment with a post reflecting on the important work Scarborough teachers do each day to promote kindness and compassion. Principal Kelli Crosby, of Wentworth Intermediate School, offered this lovely tribute to her staff:

The RAK challenge for Tuesday is to "find the good in someone around you," and I am fortunate to be surrounded by oh-so-much "good" each and every day.  It is my privilege to be the Principal of Wentworth School because, not only do I work with the most wonderful children in the world, but I am also surrounded by an incredibly caring, compassionate, dedicated and professional staff.  I would like to express my deep appreciation, and immense pride, for the work our teachers do to foster, not only strong academic growth, but also caring and compassion in our students.

Every adult in our school, from classroom teachers to nurses and ed techs, to the front office, kitchen, and custodial staff, are teachers because they put students at the center of everything they do.  There are not enough hours in the day, but teachers create the time by getting up at a time many would still consider night and leaving school long after the final bus. Teachers often spend their weekends planning creative lessons and providing students with timely feedback on their work and progress. They never stop thinking about how to make learning meaningful, how to quietly ensure every student has a snack, or when to find just a few extra minutes each day to make absolutely sure every student understands that new concept and also has someone to play with at recess.

Though it would be easy to understand if teachers sometimes seem a little tired, stressed, or low on patience, day after day I see the opposite.  They arrive bright and early to make sure everything is just-so in the classroom, and they are right at the door to greet their students with a smile, a warm good morning, and the expectation that the day will be important.

Teachers make every student feel like a crucial, contributing member of our school community, and this feeling transfers to such a sense of pride among our students. Our teachers give high fives and celebrate big and little accomplishments, dry tears, clean up spills, apply bandaids, and help students make more expected choices.  They facilitate friendships and assist students in navigating social situations, join in on foursquare games and eat lunch on trays in the cafeteria.

Teachers are smart, and they realize that the future of our world is sitting right in their classrooms today.  I couldn't imagine a crew more capable of this awesome responsibility. Thank you, teachers.

With heartfelt appreciation,

Kelli Crosby 

Project Lifesaver and the Scarborough Special Needs Registry - An Interview with Officer Douglas Weed

Those of you who were at the Compassion Dialogue on Tuesday, or those who watched on TV may remember hearing Peter Hayes and Chief Moulton reference Project Lifesaver. Project Lifesaver, a tracking device worn around the wrist or ankle of a person who is at risk for wandering, is a more recent add on to a program that has been in place for years within Scarborough PD - the Scarborough Special Needs Registry. I reached out to Officer Douglas Weed for more information about both programs, and his answers are further proof that we are home to the most compassionate police force around! 

Officer Weed with Carrigain Rowan and friends at her Barn Dance Birthday - She collected donations for Project Lifesaver

SKP: I think everyone in Scarborough has heard about Operation HOPE, but not many know about the work Scarborough PD has done over the years to keep individuals with disabilities safe. Can you tell me a little bit about what you've been doing, including Project Lifesaver, and your inspiration for starting the programs?

Weed: My wife Peggy and I have five children, two with disabilities. The youngest of our triplets, Daniel, was diagnosed with cerebral palsy shortly after his first birthday. Our daughter, and only girl, Makayla was diagnosed with autism just after her second birthday. After the whirlwind and initial shock of these diagnoses, my wife and I started to research these disabilities in an effort to help our children reach a mainstream level. 

Early on a Sunday Morning, approximately 12 years ago, I located a 5 year old boy. The boy walked out of the woods and crossed the road in front of my cruiser wearing pajamas. In an attempt to make contact with the boy, he ran. I located him in the woods and attempted to make contact. He started jumping up and down flapping his hands and making grunting noises. He would not respond to me verbally, and I recognized the behavior as an anxiety-based response to stress. I quickly realized we had a major problem, a non-verbal 5 year old boy with special needs. He could not communicate his name, nor his address or phone number. Luckily his mother reported him missing, and we were able to reunite the family. When I toured the home, I discovered something amazing. Mom had placed locks on the doors, equipped with alarms and many other safety devices that he had learned over time to defeat. 

    

This incident spawned the idea of the Scarborough Special Needs Registry Program. The special needs program we developed allows a family member, guardian, etc. to supply us with information to help police interact, locate and provide the highest level of service to a person with special needs. The information provided is downloaded into our IMC Computer Program. The information is then visible to dispatchers, police officers, and firefighters on their MDT's (Mobile Laptops). It includes trigger words, calming techniques, photos, maps of areas around school, work, residence, and labeled bodies of water. In the event of a missing person, this will help us streamline the search areas and, if located, be able to make contact.

 

SKP: How do families sign up?

Weed: Families can print off the Scarborough Special Needs Forms from the Scarborough Police website under forms. Once the paperwork is completed the family can call me at 207-883-6361 and make an appointment to drop it off. At that time, I will review the paperwork with the family and show them how the program works. An appointment does not need to be made unless the family wishes to see how the program works. 

 

SKP: Do you have a way for people to donate to the programs? I remember from reading this Leader article that the cost for the equipment each family needs to participate in Project Lifesaver is around $300 and that you were hoping for donations to defray some of that expense for families. 

Weed: Donations can be made to the Project Lifesaver program through Cathy Chandler, Secretary to the Chief of Police. Donations will be used to purchase equipment for current and future clients.

 

SKP: Is Project Lifesaver actually saving lives?

Weed: Both programs are saving lives, Project Lifesaver adds a significant tool to our tool belt when it comes to locating a person who has eloped. Recently another Scarborough Police Officer and I were able to disarm a young male with a knife. Using the information provided in his special needs form, we were able to calm him down and retrieve the knife without incident. Neither one of these programs are 100%, but I believe the more information the officer has the better level of service he can provide to the person with special needs.

 

Project Lifesaver and the Scarborough Special Needs Program will continue to evolve as Scarborough grows. I am happy with the increased level of training that officers are receiving when it comes to dealing with a special needs person, but there is more to do. I am hoping through families like yours, we can keep this on the forefront and provide people with special needs the highest level of service available. We are lucky to have a Police and Fire Chief who are very supportive of both programs. For me, it comes down to being raised in town, having family here, working here, and coaching here - it's about home, it's about our families.

One of my favorite quotes is from Henry Ford:

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. 

 

For More Information I can be reached at: 

Scarborough Police Department

246 US Route 1

Scarborough, Maine 

Non-Emergency- 207-883-6361     Voice Mail- 207-730-4322

SKP: Thank you for your time, Officer Weed, and for your dedication to ensuring ALL of our neighbors are treated with both dignity and respect for their unique needs and circumstances. 

Day 7: Love Yourself

Sincere thanks go to Cindy Beaulieu of Pine Point Yoga for writing this post for us today!

Some reflection on kindness towards self….

Being kind to yourself positions you to give to others; you can’t give from an empty cup.

During this busy, crazy life we often become disconnected from who we are, sometimes asking the question, “Who am I, who is this person?” Then I think about the word self, and I reflect on the teachings of yoga and Ayurveda as we are so much more than bones, tissues, and muscles.

How can we show love and kindness to the complete package? Yoga provides the vehicle to reconnect with true self, the complete package, and all the layers of you!

Physical body: To feel and open up spaces in your body that may have been forgotten over time. Yoga helps the body remember itself.

Breath body: To actually pause and just sit with your breath. Yoga brings awareness back to the thing that ultimately provides life.

Mind Body: To give it a rest, what would it feel like to not have to figure out, solve, or plan anything? Yoga helps the mind focus on the present moment, here and now. This is the best time, this is the only time.

Witness Body: To look at yourself with nothing but love and kindness. What would it feel like to step away and look at yourself, without judgement, to see yourself with nothing but compassion? Yoga teaches us that we are perfect in this very moment and that we are always expanding into more.

Bliss Body: To feel so connected to all the layers of you that you actually feel blissful. You have gone from “doing yoga” to “yoga is doing you”.

Yoga is the means to come home to your true self. Call yourself home, “Come Home Beautiful.”

Jai Bhagwan.

We are looking forward to some self-care with Cindy this morning, as she has generously offered two morning classes at a significantly reduced rate in honor of RAK week. Thank you, Cindy!

Day 6: Kindness Across Generations - Remembering

Our scheduled blogger for today has been ill, and she was unable to finish her post in time, so I'm pinch hitting again.

Growing up, I lived in a small, rural town in Western Maine. We didn't have a neighborhood, but we had wonderful neighbors. There weren't any other girls my age nearby, so I often had to choose between Tonka Land with the boys (a sand pit filled with testosterone and Tonka trucks) and spending time with my gray- haired women "friends."

Mrs. Grant lived across the busy street, so I could only go to her house with my mother. I remember feeling really special when we did so. She had a large family, but didn't often have visitors, so she was always so glad to see us. She loved to show us old pictures and reminisce. She always wore dresses and pantyhose, with lace up shoes and an apron. I couldn't wait to grow up so that I could wear pantyhose! Her hair was short, curly, brownish gray, and always neat. On Halloween, my brothers and I were some of her only trick-or-treaters, so she encouraged us to take handfuls of her bowl full of Dum-Dum Pops. Mrs. Grant's claims to fame were not dying of a heart attack when a car crashed into her bedroom, and not dying of cancer when doctors told her she had only months to live.

Mrs. Trebilcock lived just down the dirt road, and she was (still is) the hardest working woman I knew. She was a school teacher and the mother of four boisterous boys (of Tonka Land fame). She grew giant vegetable gardens each summer, and she was always outside working in her gardens or sunning herself, slathered in Johnson's baby oil. She was an excellent seamstress, and she made the most beautiful braided rugs. She loved it when I stopped by for a visit, and she would say "bless your heart" and tell me how she had always dreamed of having a girl. I loved her weird velvet paintings, her baked goods, and her warm, sincere hugs.

Mrs. Loungeway was my most special friend. She used to make excuses to take my brothers and I for walks in order to give my mother a well-deserved break. She taught us how to catch hornpout in the mill pond, how to find the best wild strawberries on the edges of the pasture, and she shared her love of flower gardening. She had lilac bushes surrounding the perimeter of her yard, lavender and white, with one or two deep purple varieties (much coveted by the other ladies in town) closer to her house. She had the most beautiful zinnias for cutting, lovely irises, daisies, black eyed susans, hens and chicks, and, my favorites at the time, forget-me-nots. Her basement walls were full of canned food from her vegetable gardens, and her house smelled like cookies - which I usually got to sample when I was invited in for tea. I was never much of a fisher-woman, but I think of Mrs. Loungeway whenever I work in my own flower gardens. After several unsuccessful attempts, I finally got to plant my own forget-me-not seedlings last summer.

When my husband and I bought our home in Scarborough, we didn't think much about the composition of our neighborhood; we were simply excited to join families with young children on a quiet, dead-end street. Now that our development is complete, we are surrounded by families much like ours, and we love them all, but I regret that my daughters will not grow up with a Mrs. Grant, a Mrs. Trebilcock, and especially a Mrs. Loungeway. I'm not sure who will teach them to catch hornpout, but I assure you that it will not be me! Any takers?

On this day, I would love to hear your ideas for fostering meaningful inter-generational connections.

Day 5: Love the Outdoors - In Poetry and Pictures

Today, I invite you to enjoy these lovely poems, written by Sofia D., a seventh grade student at Scarborough Middle School. Thank you Sofia!

Maine

The outdoors

Feeling the fresh air on your fingertips

Smiling at the white sun

The green tops of the trees heavy with dew

The dark soil sticking to your hands

The sky, the color of wisdom

Your skin warmed

Bare feet pounding against the slippery grass

Thankful

That you live

On the perfection of Earth

Early Earth

Early morning

Sun not stretched its yellow arms

Moon a desolate beauty

Windows frosted in dew

World wrapped in gauze

Trees pale, new and ancient at once

The ground untouched and cold

Early Earth

The way it was meant to be seen

Our eyes perfectly adjusted

To see every inch of imperfect perfection

In the curve of the grass

The color of a flower

The pockmarks of the moon

The heady scent of the mist

Of early Earth

Pictures of Pine Point, submitted for our enjoyment by the kind and generous Kat Powers.

Whatever you do today, please remember to pause and take in the beauty that surrounds our cozy coastal town.

Day 4: Neighborhood/Community Kindness - Your Stories

Our first story is from Kristin Allen, another of our founding members.  

Today is National Random Acts of Kindness Day, and the SKP is highlighting stories about neighbors and community members to complement our theme. This story is meant to highlight the huge network of compassion and support that lives right here in our community. 

Kindness and Hope from Ashes...

On 11/27/14, Thanksgiving Day, we received a call from one of our neighbors informing us that there was a fire at our home. We drove to Scarborough from Topsham, faster than we probably should have, and arrived by 7pm to find that the entire street was blocked by emergency vehicles, the fire was put out but had ravaged our home, and the firefighters were taking measures to vent the smoke out of the house. Many of our neighbors came out to see us, comfort us, and offered to help us in any way that they could. We lost our two kitties, Ozzy and Daisy, to the smoke (both had made their way to the basement and were found there - Daisy was found that evening, Ozzy was found the next morning). We called the insurance company, met with the fire marshall, and drove back to Topsham to stay with family for the night. 

On 11/28, we 'moved in' with neighbors who are very good friends, and who were so gracious to open their home to us. They made sure the kids had a comfortable place to sleep, put us into their spare bedroom. and fed us for several days until we could find a place to rent. That same morning, our insurance agent visited us to give us a debit card to be able to buy clothes, food, and whatever else we needed.

We also got a text from someone, identifying himself as 'a plain-clothes police officer,' who was at our house during the fire. He offered to plow our driveway for the entire winter since we would not be there (something he does on the side). He said, "I know it isn't much, but I really want to help your family; I have a few accounts in your neighborhood, and it would mean a lot to me." 

What could I say? Of course, we accepted his offer. To this day, I well-up whenever I recall this story because I know that the men and women who choose public service as their livelihood do so out of the desire to help others. I have no idea who this police officer is - not even his name, but we are forever grateful to him for this gesture.

On December 3rd, we found a house to rent. During our first week, our families made sure we had what we needed - as far away as Portland Oregon. Not surprising, after all, they are our family - but we realize that not everyone has a family who can support them in times like this, and we are grateful for ours.  Then, friends from the Scarborough Soccer Club held a benefit to raise funds and gift cards for us. They received contributions from  families with players in the club, community members, and other sports booster groups (cheering, lacrosse, field hockey, and many others). Additionally, members of the Scarborough Boys Hockey Boosters started a fundraiser for us as well, and held a dinner at Romeo's Pizza for us after one of the high school games. We had a similar upwelling of support from coworkers, who basically funded our kids' entire Christmas. 

The generosity and support from everyone was overwhelming, and brings me to tears at times, even today. I can't tell you how humbled we felt to know that so many people care about us - people we know well, but also acquaintances and total strangers. It made this terrible situation easier to bear for sure, since we were able to get what we needed without waiting for the bank

A short list of people we need to thank:

-Chief Thurlow, Chief Moulton, and all of the first responders from Scarborough and from surrounding towns who helped us. Not only did they 'do their job' - but they showed us compassion and gave us hope. 

-The 'plain clothes police officer' who was at our home during the fire, and who reached out to us after the fire to offer to plow our driveway for the winter

-Our neighbors - who stood with us while we were in tears watching as the fire was put out; for calling 911, knowing that we weren't home; for sending out an emergency Facebook post to enable someone to get in touch with us; for looking out for us during the entire ordeal.

-To our insurance agent - who also 'did his job' but moreover, he showed compassion, taking things at our pace, giving us time and space but being available any day or time that we needed him. 

-The Scarborough Soccer Club, Scarborough High School Booster groups, the Scarborough hockey coaches and families, and the class of 2015 (who held a benefit on our behalf)

-The Scarborough Lions Club and the Pine Point Ladies Auxiliary

-Countless friends and family members whose emotional support and financial support bridged us to the other side of this entire situation. 

This is a photo of our lilac tree. The significance: every year, robins would build a nest in this tree, and our two kitties used to sit in the window and go nuts over them. We decided to bury them beneath this tree a few days after the fire. When we told our contractor about the tree (Risbara Brothers Construction), they sent out an APB to anyone working on the house that this tree could not be touched of damaged. This photo was taken in the spring, a symbol of hope for me.

We learned through this process what a wonderful community we have and how very lucky we are to have it.

-Kristin Allen

Second, we have a reflection by Ami DeRienzo. 

Letting Go of the Pennies…

When I was a kid I remember walking along the streets of East Boston with my grandmother, an adventure that was unique for my sister and I having spent our entire lives in Maine with little exposure to city life.   I remember feeling incredibly excited that Grandma was taking us shopping to spend the cigar boxes filled with pennies that she had given us.  We were fascinated by the ride on the trolley and the thrill of exploring a world we had never seen.

One memory from that day has stayed with me all these years.  It was the first time that my sister and I had ever seen a homeless person.  As we were walking without a care in the world down the cobblestone streets clutching our boxes of pennies, we both stopped short.  If I were to describe the scene as an outsider, I can only imagine that our eyes were wide and our mouths slightly agape.  I remember being overcome with shock that there was this sad man here and no one was taking care of him.  Where was his family?  Why would anyone have to beg for food when there were so many people who had so much?  I didn’t understand why no one was stopping to help…  As I lunged forward to reach out to him, my grandmother’s protective arm wrapped around the front of my chest and pulled me back. “Stay away from him!  He’s dirty!”

I remember engaging in one of my earliest debates in that moment.  After warning me that my actions would certainly result in a miserable day where I would have no money to spend at the store, in exasperation she finally relented.  She reluctantly let go, and I proceeded to give the man my box of pennies.  I remember that moment feeling as if I had made a difference, and I had no regrets despite all the gift shops and candy bars that we walked past later in the day.  I was a child, and I believed that giving was the right thing to do, whether someone needed a bath or not.  When people need help, you help them.  That is what we learned in Sunday School, and that is what I believed to be true.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the person that I have become over the years, and it saddens me to realize that in many ways, I have learned to distrust just like my Grandma.  In hindsight, I realize that she probably looked at that man and saw a drunk or a con artist or someone who would take advantage of the innocence of a little girl.  She wasn’t born thinking this way any more than I was, but over the years her experiences affected her ability to trust. I find that I have also become tainted, and the trusts that have been broken have made it more difficult for me sometimes to give.  It is as if my brain automatically goes through this application and scrutiny process whenever I see a need, questioning if the recipient is worthy or if I am being played.  Every “Go Fund Me” plea raises red flags of a possible scam, and every individual standing on the street corner holding up a sign is really a millionaire making thousands of dollars a day off of kind and unsuspecting people. I have become suspect that those receiving food stamps may be living the high life, dealing drugs and shooting up government assistance while their children go hungry.  This is not who I am or who I want to be.  And as I have lost my trust, I have lost the joy of giving.  Instead of being that spontaneous child who hands her box of pennies to a complete stranger, I conduct six hours of research to make sure that a cause is worthy or an individual does not have a secret agenda.  By the time I actually am ready to give, I find that my quest to do something good is not joyful but surgical and methodical.  It no longer feels like giving but becomes another obligation or duty adding to my financial deficit.

This week is Random Acts of Kindness week, and I am challenging myself to give with my heart and not with my head.  It is not easy to do sometimes, but I do know that when I find a way to put my cynicism aside and go with my instincts, I almost always walk away feeling a thousand times better than when I allow myself to get stuck.  Yes, there are bad people in the world, and every once in a while we will likely be taken for a ride.  But for every con artist, there are a thousand individuals in need who could be blessed by a single act of kindness. If we stop giving because of one bad guy in an effort not to get taken, we are not hurting the con artist as they will find other sources and people to scam.  Ultimately, we are hurting ourselves and the needy among us by letting the bad guys win.  This week I’m letting go of that vice grip on my box of pennies and will try to open up myself up again to giving from the heart.

-Ami DeRienzo

Third, a fellow mom asked me to share this sweet narrative anonymously.

I am Here...

When my youngest was 17 months old, I unexpectedly ended up one evening in the ER with him, and subsequently he was admitted to Barbara Bush with a bad pneumonia diagnosis. The thing was, I didn't get to see my other two kids prior to taking him to the ER and then staying the night with him at the hospital...not only was I worried sick about him, but I was overly emotional about not seeing my 6 and 4 year old, who were home with my husband and mom. I was really missing them and concerned that my 6 year old would have a hard time going to school that morning, knowing her mom and baby brother were in the hospital. 

What did I do? I sent an email, from my phone at the hospital, to my daughter's kindergarten teacher, at Pleasant Hill, explaining what was going on & asked her to check in on my daughter and give her some extra TLC. 

What occurred was magical...within minutes, this teacher of 18 children, replied to my email with a simple, "On it. If you need anything, I am here. Just ask."

These words provided such a comfort and a sense of relief to me during one of the most stressful times I have had as a parent. I am forever grateful to this teacher for understanding that her job goes beyond the curriculum she teaches. Her act of kindness will never be forgotten... I am forever grateful knowing there are people working with my children, in this district, who have the biggest hearts and care for them like they are their own children. We are so lucky!

-Anonymous Mom

Thank you Kristin, Amy, and "Anonymous Mom" for sharing your stories of kindness! I can't think of a more appropriate way to start this special day.